I've been beginning to feel lonely at gatherings, it's been happening for a while. People just get very, I have no words to describe it. They gather around clutching, grasping at straws that remind them of what their life used to be like. They gather in smaller and smaller groups of greater and greater specificity. They restrict themselves to familiarity, they remain within their constrictive, ever decreasing social circles. It's surprising though, the ones who used to be outcastes earlier on, fit in much more easily now, they didn't go ahead and cling to the first vestiges of their "previous" life they find. They seek no solace in the familiar, and thus have a greater variety of people within their "social circle"
I'm not sure where I stand on this, I'd like to be within the comfort of what's known, but I'd also rather not fall into that trap. I can in retrospect see what mistakes I've made. But I'm fine with it. Life after all is about, living with making suboptimal decisions at each point. I'll be breaking out of this pattern, this vortex soon though. Let's see. Circumstances out of my control prevent me from making a clean break. That's ok, I still long for the comfort of the familiar, every once in a while though, when I'm in the aforementioned familiar company, I feel the urge to leave them, I feel more alone with them than I do when alone. That's sad.
In other news everything I do is derivative, I was reading a book, and they had some point in there about only humans having the capability to create something new, to truly create. I've never done that, everything I've done has been derivative. Where does my own contribution come into this, something that's mine from start to end. People will argue that in most situations anything worth doing is complex enough to prevent it from being done/created by an individual. The times for the lone genius with that one eureka moment are long past and in all probability never were. Sadly I'm a romantic and craving for the impossible seems to be what I'm inclined to do, not out of choice or any masochistic streak mind you. If I believed in destiny I'd say I'm destined to think like this, I don't, I'll still say it though.
I was about to sign this off with my name. Haah. You almost had me there.
The Ballad of Barry Allen
I've got time to think of the beauty of a thousand variations
Of the beating of a wing
Of a hummingbird suspended in the aspic of the world
Moving slower than molasses
As i'm off to catch the girl
Who is falling off the bridge
And I'm there before she knows it
I'll be gone before she sees me
Got my hand around her waste
I pull her back to safety
By the time she knows what happens
There will be someone else who needs me
Because time keeps dragging on
And on, And on
Time keeps dragging on
I've got time to think about my past as I dodge Between the bullets how my life was so exciting Before I got this way and how long ago it was Now I never can explain by the clock that's on the Tower or the one that's in my brain
And I'm there before you know it
I'll be gone before you see me
And I'd like to get to know you
But you're talking much too slowly
And I know you'd really like me
But I never stick around
Because time keeps dragging on
And on
And you say the world goes rushing by
But it seems so slow to me
And you see a blur around you fly
But it takes too long
It seems so slow to me
How I wish I'd never gone into my lab to
Experiment that night before lightning flashed Around me
And time changed speed
Now I have to try to be so patient and wait for Calamity to strike
Because when things change in an instant
It's almost fast enough for me
And I'll be there before you know it
I'll be gone before you see me
And do you think you can imagine
Anything so lonely
And I know you'd really like me
But I never stick around
Because time keeps dragging on
And on...
And you say the world goes rushing by
But it seems so slow to me
And you complain I'm gone before you blink your eye
But it takes too long
It seems so slow
And you say the world goes rushing by
But it seems so slow to me
And I want to be there when you laugh or cry
But it takes too long
It seems so slow to me
Of the beating of a wing
Of a hummingbird suspended in the aspic of the world
Moving slower than molasses
As i'm off to catch the girl
Who is falling off the bridge
And I'm there before she knows it
I'll be gone before she sees me
Got my hand around her waste
I pull her back to safety
By the time she knows what happens
There will be someone else who needs me
Because time keeps dragging on
And on, And on
Time keeps dragging on
I've got time to think about my past as I dodge Between the bullets how my life was so exciting Before I got this way and how long ago it was Now I never can explain by the clock that's on the Tower or the one that's in my brain
And I'm there before you know it
I'll be gone before you see me
And I'd like to get to know you
But you're talking much too slowly
And I know you'd really like me
But I never stick around
Because time keeps dragging on
And on
And you say the world goes rushing by
But it seems so slow to me
And you see a blur around you fly
But it takes too long
It seems so slow to me
How I wish I'd never gone into my lab to
Experiment that night before lightning flashed Around me
And time changed speed
Now I have to try to be so patient and wait for Calamity to strike
Because when things change in an instant
It's almost fast enough for me
And I'll be there before you know it
I'll be gone before you see me
And do you think you can imagine
Anything so lonely
And I know you'd really like me
But I never stick around
Because time keeps dragging on
And on...
And you say the world goes rushing by
But it seems so slow to me
And you complain I'm gone before you blink your eye
But it takes too long
It seems so slow
And you say the world goes rushing by
But it seems so slow to me
And I want to be there when you laugh or cry
But it takes too long
It seems so slow to me
