Fame And All Its Decadence

I was reading a blog of a person I know, I was disappointed. There wasn’t enough there, he had so much potential. I’m kind of sad. I guess that I should not expect much, I was not too close to him. We’d hung out, we’d gamed together, we’d spoken, suggested movies, suggested music. Not much else, ah – well live and learn eh ?

He’s doing well though – it’s not his life I’m talking about – with respect to potential of course, it’s his blog. Who’da thunk.

I remember I’d thought one day of writing a blog post titled “my disillusionment” it started as follows – “I wonder whether I was naïve, misinformed or just plain stupid to expect anything else”. I never finished it. Is there a reason to my not finishing it ? Of course, will I share it, of course I will, but not now.

Porcupine Tree - The Sound of Muzak

Hear the sound of music
Drifting in the aisles
Elevator prozac
Stretching on for miles

The music of the future
Will not entertain
It's only meant to repress
And neutralise your brain

Soul gets squeezed out
Edges get blunt
Demographic
Gives what you want

Now the sound of music
Comes in silver pills
Engineered to suit you
Building cheaper thrills

The music of rebellion
Makes you wanna rage
But it's made by millionaires
Who are nearly twice your age

One of the wonders of the world is going down
It's going down I know
It's one of the blunders of the world that no-one cares
No-one cares enough

Locked in Clutch

Every couple of years, I go back to the places of my childhood for a couple of days/weeks months etc. This allows the “positive vibes” resonate with my body strengthening the positive emotions and ensuring that I’m in harmony with my surroundings and all that jazz. Now if you believe that ? What I find interesting is that each time I arrive and meet the same people whom I’ve met over so many years – my faith in the human race is reinforced, I see what I have lost due to cynicism and how jaded I’ve become. Ah well – all for a greater good ?

I found out a couple of things over the past month, I have a fear of death, I am susceptible to the same emotions as every one else – and I am much more jaded and cynical than needed. Weirdly the fear of death was the most surprising of them all. There do indeed exist good people who do things for the betterment of others out of no apparent selfish motivation. This completely messes up my world view, sigh, I need to be in the “real world” more often, but giving up on “aura cleansing/vibration resonating” is not something I’m willing to do. Engineering Trade-off it’s called.

Amongst other things I’ve noticed while reading bad novels, I’ve realised that if you can read multiple series by the same author, their biases become obvious. At least it seems to work in retrospect as every one knows, hindsight is 20-20. George R. R. Martin seems to be one of the few without any obvious bias, so far. I’m still waiting for his song of ice and fire series to end, I hope it does get published though. I loved what he’s started, it’s epic, I just hope he finishes it.

As usual the lyrics have nothing to do with anything at all.

A Perfect Circle- "The Outsider"

Help me if you can

It's just that this, this is not the way I'm wired

So could you please,

Help me understand why

You've given in to all these

Reckless dark desires

You're lying to yourself again

Suicidal imbecile

Think about it, put it on the faultline

What'll it take to get it through to you precious

I'm over this. Why do you wanna throw it away like this

Such a mess. Why would I want to watch you.

Disconnect and self destruct one bullet at a time

What's your rush now, everyone will have his day to die

Medicated, drama queen, picture perfect, numb belligerence

Narcissistic, drama queen, craving fame and all its decadence

Lying through your teeth again

Suicidal imbecile

Think about it, put it on the fautline

What'll it take to get it through to you precious

Go with this, why do you wanna throw it away like this

Such a mess. Why would I wanna watch you...

Disconnect and self destruct one bullet at a time

What's your rush now, everyone will have his day to die

They were right about you

They were right about you

Lying to my face again

Suicidal imbecile

Think about it put it on the fautline

What'll it take to get it through to you precious

I'm over this. Why do you wanna throw it away like this

Such a mess, I'm over this, over this!

Disconnect and self destruct, one bullet at a time

What's your hurry, everyone will have his day to die

If you choose to pull the trigger, should your drama prove sincere,

Do it somewhere far away from here